It can seem counterintuitive to think conflict might be the best way of creating open lines of communication, especially in stressful healthcare settings.
But Amy Lafko, owner, principal, Cairn Consulting Solutions, said that a direct and truthful approach to conflict resolution is a valuable tool for managers to solve problems and resolve disagreements – and it doesn’t necessarily have to result in winners and losers, as we often associate with other types of conflicts.
“Conflict in itself is not a negative thing,” she said. “It’s whether that conflict yields results or creates discord. I want people to recognize that conflict is very productive when done well. Productive conflict is when you come to the table, you get all the issues out and you actually walk away with something even greater than you thought possible.”
Lafko has developed a strategy to use the frequently awkward emotionality of conflict and channel it into a productive mechanism. Timing, she said, is crucial to recognizing when it is right to have a challenging conversation and when to avoid a real confrontation.
“You’ve always got your gut check,” Lafko said. “If you know that you can’t go into a conversation in a way that you can be level-headed and be open to hearing the other side, that’s a good indicator that now’s not the time for that conversation. The second thing to think about is, ‘What are my negative assumptions here? Can I let them go?’”
Part of people’s fear of conflicts, Lafko said, stems from our innate psychology.
“We want to preserve ourselves, so our amygdala kicks in, and we’ve got the fight-or-flight response,” she said. “A lot of people use avoidance as their default – ‘I’m out of here. I’m not going to engage in the conversation.’ Other people dig in and say, ‘I’m going to get my point across. I’m going to prove it.’
“We can’t ignore the fact that our amygdala does kick in. What we do is say, ‘I can move past that initial default thinking of fight or flight.’”
Lafko said you can use the framework of emotional intelligence to understand your own anger triggers and automatic negative assumptions – and to let them go – as well as to see the signs of emotionality in others and to help interpret their reactions.
“When I started to see every problem as a chance to build a relationship, I was able to flip my thinking on conflict in general,” she said. “I go in focused on ‘what’s our common goal?’ and hearing their perspective first. Oftentimes, the common goal is we want the best outcome for the patient, for the practice. How do we go about doing that is then the next part of the discussion.”
Lafko said the strategy is even applicable in situations where senior employees find it difficult to deal with managers who use their authority to remain inflexible, no matter the situation or the validity of new ideas or solutions.
“If their answer is always going to be, ‘It’s my way or the highway,’ then at some point, people will choose the highway,” she said. “If you want to avoid that, because you love the work, you love where you are in that practice, your opportunity is to start working on understanding what their needs are, so that you can come to a common goal that makes sense to both of you.”
Hear more from Lafko in this episode of the MGMA Insights podcast:
MGMA · Productive Conflict: Getting to Better Outcomes Through Better Communication
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